I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
