Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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