My first STD was from a foam party
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
