So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
