If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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