All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
