She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
