I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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