i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I understand Curling. That high.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
