He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
