Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
