Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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