I wish my penis had an off switch
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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