when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
