We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
