Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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