4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
