we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
