Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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