My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
