You just made me feel so damn special
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
