Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
