I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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