What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
