Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
