my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
