the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
