you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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