I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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