She's JV to your varsity
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
