i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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