he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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