My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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