No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
