The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
