Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
