Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
