hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How external is "for external use only"?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
