It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
