So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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