i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
