She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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