I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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