i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
this just has baby written all over it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
