you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
