dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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