hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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