Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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