She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is Oprah even human
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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