Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
