I like to think it a success when the cops are called
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
